Behold, 2013!

Criminy, another new year, my 40th to be precise. I’m halfway through my life, or thereabouts. Now that’s something to chew on. Once more the terrifying brevity of human existence troubles my thoughts.

Happy New Year!

I don’t celebrate New Year much. This year (I suppose “last year”) I watched Predators on telly, which was better than expected, then went to bed at 11.30. I’ve always found New Year’s Eve a bit of an anti-climax, unless you can find a good house party. And I always get maudlin about my mortal span (see above). In any case, now my son Benny is four, there’s no going anywhere on days like that. So, onto 2013, it’s a busy one. Here’s a rundown of what’s happening in the Guyniverse come the next twelve months (all provisional, naturally).

January

My first story for Interzone will be published in issue 244. Hurrah!

March

I’ll be at Black Library Live in Nottingham on 3rd March, then the day after at The Scifi Weekender in Pwllheli. See you there?

April

I am also going to be at Salute with BL, on 20th April in London. I’ll be at several other events with the Black Library this year, and I’ll be posting details of those nearer the time.

May

Baneblade, my first published novel for The Black Library, is out on 7th May. Expect a linked story in Hammer and Bolter before the book comes out.

June

The Crash is out on the 25th. My second original novel for Solaris, it’s about a colony expedition that goes horribly wrong.

July

Skarsnik is out, my second BL book. This hits the shelves on 19th July. There’ll be a tie-in story about another famous Greenskin warlord in Hammer and Bolter. If you’re seeing a pattern here, that’s because there is one.

August

My Horus Heresy-era short story will appear in the Mark of Calth anthology, out on 13th. I actually just finished this today, and will tell you the title when I am one hundred per cent sure I won’t get into hot water for it (meaning, I’ll ask my editor).

September

My third novel for The Black Library/Games Workshop is released 3rd September. Space Marines galore, Genestealers, and a twist.

And that’s about it for the time being. I’ve got several other projects bubbling away, and as I said I will be appearing at other events. As for this blog,  I’ve made my one and only New Year resolution to get all my Death Ray work online. And then I’ve  a four-year backlog of SFX material; and that’s just the stuff I’ve got permission to publish. FYI, the blog got 25000 views in 2012, nowhere near the likes of John Scalzi’s eight million but not bad, I think. Things I’m hoping for this year? Less rain.

Baneblade

Look, look! Artwork for my book Baneblade! This atmospheric piece of the eponymous tanks in action was created by Adam Tooby, and a fine job he’s done too. I first saw this some time ago, and have been itching to show you ever since, now I can! I’ve also been given permission to reveal a little of the plot of the book, hooray! Here goes:

Imperial Guard fight Blood Axe Orks across a treacherous world!

Colaron Bannick is a young officer of noble birth. Posted to hostile Kalidar – a place wracked by deadly storms, covered in choking dust and troubled by bizarre psychic phenomenon – his heroic actions in his first engagement see him seconded to join the crew of the ancient Baneblade, Mars Triumphant, where he faces a terrifying enemy…

Although the story is set at the time of the Macharian Crusade, the war on Kalidar is not a part of this grand campaign (read Bill King’s Angel of Fire for that), instead the book shows an army group stretched to the limit as resources are siphoned off to fuel the Warmaster’s conquests.

In a parallel story depicted in a series of flashbacks, we also see why Bannick fled his comfortable existence as a privileged nobleman for a hard life in the Guard.

Expect big tanks, big battles and the will of the Emperor and the Omnissiah done by man and machine against terrible odds.

Baneblade will be released in April next year. In fact, you can preorder it on Amazon already.

Black Library News

At last! I can tell you about some of the very exciting things that I know about and that you don’t, or rather didn’t know until now!

Today I can finally reveal not one, but two of my Black Library novels. In case the picture above doesn’t give it away, one is Skarsnik, about the infamous night goblin warlord.

I’m a big Warhammer fan, as you might know. I started playing in 1984 with the first edition of the fantasy game. That’s right, when there was none of this new fangled Warhammer 40,000 business and Toughness values were represented by letters. I was 11. I’m now 39, so I’ve been playing for 28 years. And I still play. I love it. (Playing for so long puts on odd perspective on things – I bought myself a little birthday gift on Wednesday, a box of plastic bikers for my 40k ork army. I’ve wanted these for ages. To me they are “new models”. They came out five years ago).

I’ve always been a massive greenskin fan, leading orcs and goblins since day one. For years they lost, but the last half decade has been kind to my green minions and they now win more often than not. It helps that Skarsnik himself is my army general. Want to see my army list? Here it is.

Skarsnik’s Stabbas

(I date all my army lists when I draw them up. This is the most recent variation on Skarsnik’s army, but it really doesn’t change that much. The last game I played with this was 7/5/2012. It represents but a small proportion of my greater goblin horde. No, I don’t have any orcs in my army, although I have Ruglud’s Armoured Orcs prepped for painting because they are very cool. Other orcs can go feed my squigs. Literally).

Naturally I was well up for it when Nick Kyme at The Black Library suggested I write a novel about Skarsnik. Nick worked for me when I edited White Dwarf magazine, now I kind of work for him. A strange reversal, but a fruitful one. Our earlier association means he knows full well how much I like my goblins.

I’ve put up a page on Skarsnik here with a brief breakdown of the plot, so I won’t repeat myself, but I will tell you some of what I am trying to do with the story. A lot of people see goblins as funny, comic relief characters (why, just check out The Black Library’s own blog post to see how prevalent this attitude is). Granted, they are funny, but they are also vicious, wicked, baby-eating horrors of the first degree. “Ooh! Look at the funny goblins”, gamers say. Yeah well, you wouldn’t want to be bound to spiky stick in a stinky cave with a lot of them standing around you. They’d have knives, and they’d be laughing. Not so funny now, are they?

Come to think of it, you probably don’t want to face mine on the battlefield either.

So, I wanted to capture both sides of this character. You’ll see how amusing and horrifying goblins are as we watch Skarsnik trick, wheedle and stab his way from sporeling to king of Karak Eight Peaks. For non-goblin fanatics there is plenty of skaven and dwarf action, with a little bit of the Empire thrown in. Truly, Skarsnik is a cornucopic fantasy delight.

Now to the other project. Sharp eyes might have seen this on Amazon. Yes, I’ve also written a Warhammer 40,000 novel called Baneblade. It’s about the tank of the same name. Although I wrote this book quite a while ago, and it is actually out some time before Skarsnik, the arcane nature of publishing dictates that I can say only that it’s about a young lieutenant of a noble house who joins a veteran baneblade crew. And that’s your lot.

By the Emperor, there’s more! I’m also writing another book for BL called [REDACTED] about the [REDACTED] and the [REDACTED] who must [REDACTED] before [REDACTED] and the [REDACTED] is [REDACTED]! I’ve not finished writing that yet but I’m having a lot of fun with it. More later when I am free to talk.

Of course, none of this is out for a while, so why not (blatant plug time! Please forgive me, I have to eat) check out my Richards & Klein books. A buddy-cop adventure series set in the 22nd century that pairs a dour, ex-military German cyborg with a wiseass super computer in a trenchcoat. Click here for more on both books, and free R&K short stories “The Nemesis Worm” and “Ghost”. You may also like Champion of Mars, an epic tale spanning millennia from the next century to the far, far future of the Red Planet.

There are further free short stories here on the site (of varying vintage, so perhaps not me at my best, but still interesting). There are some others you can buy if you wish at The Angry Robot Trading Company.

Right, you’ve been good and read my pleading for you to buy my books. In return, please feel free to ask me anything about anything – including these hot, newly announced BL titles – in the comments. Games, journalism, GW, Mantic, SFX, White Dwarf, whatever. I will answer what I am allowed to. Think of it as an interview by you, if you like.

If you’re into wargaming, you might want to follow me on this blog and/or on twitter, as there will be another announcement on the little toy men front soon. Plus there’s all the SF/Fantasy/Horror reviews, interviews, features and so forth you get regularly on this site. On twitter you might have to put up with a bunch of stuff about dogs, beer, social issues, the environment and children, but I do talk about gaming, SF and writing sometimes.

Thank you for your attention. Guy out.

The Horus Heresy

This feature, written for SFX 213, is a primer for Black Library’s best-selling Horus Heresy series, and includes some nice quotes from two of its authors, Dan Abnett and Graham McNeill.

Heretical Texts

Intricately detailed universes are not the sole province of lone authors. They can also come from games.

After 30 years in business, Games Workshop’s toy soldiers are now a part of many people’s childhood; the motifs of its Warhammer 40,000 (or “40K”) have imprinted themselves upon the public conscience, not least in the shape of those multi-coloured guardians of humanity, the Space Marines.

The worlds of GW began as disparate scraps, concepts dreamt up or borrowed in isolation to provide backstory to a model or rule. But by the cumulative efforts of many creative minds over many years, these elements have grown together into something vibrant. Publisher The Black Library was set up to explore these rich worlds in novel form, it was only a matter of time before they turned their attention to the Horus Heresy, one of 40K’s most important events.

“The weight of responsibility is huge,” says Dan Abnett, one of the series authors. “This is the mythology of the 40K Universe (although Horus Heresy is set 10,000 years earlier, so we refer to it as ‘30K’). It’s been mentioned in background text for more than two decades, sometimes in quite contradictory ways. We’ve got to make sense of the facts and weave a story that doesn’t disappoint anyone. The rules are very different to mainstream 40K novels, there’s a lot more to invent, and the scale is bigger: these are galaxy-changing events, not ‘just’ big space wars. Plus, it’s a team effort. Authors, who are solitary beasts by nature, have to work with other authors. It’s great fun, but you have to leave your ego at the door and come to the table in collaboration mode.”

With several of the books entering The New York Times bestseller list, the series’ appeal has reached far beyond the gaming fraternity. Author Graham McNeill maintains this is an SF epic the equal of anything. “The Heresy novels are exciting, chock full of interesting characters, high stakes and a plot that offers as many inventive twists and turns as any other series out there. In fact, when you think you know it back to front, that’s when you’re more likely to get surprised.”

Senior range editor Nick Kyme sums it up. “The worlds of Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 have a certain rigour and identity that our fans clearly love. In worlds that are so utterly bleak, the heroes shine that much more brightly, their deeds are more heroic, the conflicts greater and tragedies more cutting. There’s depth to them, a gravitas brought about by a weight of imagination and creativity over thirty years. The Horus Heresy is the seminal event that sets up what comes after it in the Warhammer 40,000 ‘now’. That has resonance.”

In fact, it’s all that and more. It’s nigh on impossible to get across the complexity of a universe like Warhammer 40,000 here. It truly is one of the richest collaborative worlds out there – Star Trek and Star Wars are frankly simplistic in comparison. And the Horus Heresy is its greatest story.

“Imagine a science fiction Paradise Lost,” says Abnett. “It’s a HUGE scale, epic story of the fight to control a massive empire. It’s set in a gothic universe that’s brilliantly realised. And despite the fact that there’s a large amount of thunking action going on, it’s pretty clever stuff with great characters and ideas. You don’t have to be a fan or player of Warhammer 40,000 to get into it.”

Future Imperfect

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.

In the 41^st Millennium mankind stands upon the brink of utter destruction.

In these dying days, the human Imperium is beset by aliens, but the greatest threat is that of Chaos. A second universe of energy exists alongside our own. Travel and communication through this “warp” allows interstellar civilisation, but it is not empty. The warp’s energy is moulded by the emotions of sentient beings, aggregating into four powerful consciousnesses – the Chaos Gods.

The Imperium’s Emperor is a psyker of godlike power, but he is near death, his shattered body trapped in stasis for 10,000 years. His multitudinous servants try to interpret his will as best they can, but without his direct guidance, mankind is doomed.

It was not always so. The Emperor once walked among men. In the 31st Millennium, a time when the wonders of the Dark Age of technology were millennia past, and humanity was deep in an age of barbarism, the Emperor revealed himself. From where he came, no one knows, although some say he was an ancient immortal and had been manipulating history for long ages. The Emperor resolved to save mankind, creating twenty superhuman sons from his own genetic material to aid him.

As these “Primarchs” grew, the powers of Chaos stole them away, scattering them across the galaxy. Thinking his sons lost, the Emperor proceeded with his plans. From the genetic templates of the Primarchs, he made legions of super soldiers, the Space Marines. With these he conquered Earth, and headed into the heavens on his Great Crusade.

As his armies advanced, The Emperor rediscovered the Primarchs one after another, and appointed them leaders of the legions. Returning to Earth, the Emperor left his most favoured son Horus to lead the reconquest of the galaxy.

Terrified of the Emperor, the Chaos gods set a conspiracy underway to seduce Horus. The Primarchs had not been untouched by Chaos during their childhood transit through the warp, and under Horus’ influence half of them renounced their oaths, turned on their brothers, and plunged the galaxy into civil war.

The Horus Heresy had begun.

Forbidden Knowledge

The novels of the Horus Heresy

Horus Rising (2006, Dan Abnett)

The seeds of heresy are sown

Horus is appointed “Warmaster”, and leads the Emperor’s armies to victory.

False Gods (2006, Graham McNeill)

The heresy takes root

Horus is wounded by a Chaos-tainted weapon. His fate is sealed.

Galaxy in Flames (2006, Ben Counter)

The heresy revealed

Horus, corrupted, becomes brutal, destroying the planet of Istvaan IV with virus bombs. The Luna Wolves, World Eaters and the Death Guard legions turn traitor, but loyalists within their ranks stage a desperate fight back.

Flight of the Eisenstein (2007, James Swallow)

The heresy unfolds

Captain Garro of the Death Guard witnesses Horus’ betrayal and flees in the frigate Eisenstein to warn the Emperor.

Fulgrim (2007, Graham McNeill)

Visions of treachery

Fulgrim, Primarch of the Emperor’s Children is perverted by Chaos. The book is also the first to detail the dropsite massacres of Istvaan V, a pivotal event in Warhammer 40,000 history.

Descent of Angels (2007, Michael Scanlon)

Loyalty and honour

The early life of the Primarch Lion El’Jonson is revealed as a future schism in his legion, the Dark Angels, is hinted at.

Legion (2008, Dan Abnett)

Secrets and lies

The twin Primarchs of the Alpha Legion, Alpharius-Omegon, join the Warmaster but their motivations are perhaps not what they seem.

Battle for the Abyss (2008, Ben Counter)

My brother, my enemy

The loyal Ultramarines attempt to stop the Word Bearers assaulting their homeworld of Ultramar.

Mechanicum (2008, Graham McNeill)

War comes to Mars

Horus tries to subvert the Techpriests of Mars to his cause.

Tales of Heresy (2009, edited by Lindsey Priestley and Nick Kyme)

A collection of short stories providing background to the Horus Heresy, the Great Crusade and The Imperium.

Fallen Angels (2009, Mike Lee)

Deceit and betrayal

As Lion El’Jonson tries to prevent Horus seizing control of an important world, the Dark Angels’ homeworld of Caliban is riven with strife.

A Thousand Sons  (2010, Graham McNeill)

All is dust…

Magnus, cyclopean Primarch of the Thousand Sons, has a thirst for arcane knowledge. Despite being forbidden him, Magnus uses magic to warn the Emperor of Horus’ perfidy, but only succeeds in enraging him…

Nemesis (2010, James Swallow)

War within the shadows

Treason in high places is revealed as super-assassins clash.

The First Heretic (2010, Aaron Dembski-Bowden)

Fall to Chaos

Lorgar, Primarch of the Word Bearers, turns to Chaos when the Emperor rebukes him for worshipping him as a god.

Prospero Burns (2011, Dan Abnett)

The wolves unleashed

Much is revealed of how the Chaos plot came to be, leading up to and covering the destruction of the Thousand Sons’ homeworld by the Space Wolves legion.

Age of Darkness (2011, edited by Christian Done)

Short stories covering the seven years between the Istvaan V massacre and the campaign to seize Terra.

Getting it together

At the very close of 2007,  ex-Games Workshoppers Gav Thorpe, Matt Keefe established a short story group called The Quota. Our goal was to write a short story a month in order to improve our writing. We didn’t manage it, but it was a very useful exercise. I wrote about eight stories specifically for the group before it fizzled out early in 2009.

The idea with The Quota was to incentivise ourselves to write fiction, and to have searingly honest criticism on it Personally, I found the experience enormously helpful. To have a collection of like-minded folk, all of whom had some experience with writing, but who nevertheless wrote very differently, giving feedback boosted both my abilities and my confidence.

The single most important characteristic of a would-be writer who is successful in ditching the “would-be” part of their title is taking criticism. My mantra when learning anything is “Seek out people who know, ask them how to do it, listen, and then do what they say“. I italicise this last part as I think a lot of people get the first three steps right, but disregard the precious advice they sought because it does not fit with their own opinions. WTF? You ask an expert, because they are an expert, and you are not. Obviously, you can add in your own experience and opinion to what they say, but their experience invariably trumps your own. It can be demoralising, and learning when to take advice to heart and not is a difficult, subtle act, but you first have to let it into your head. Listen! And obey. This applies even when it feels like a professional is telling you your wife is ugly and is murdering your babies.

Scratch that, it applies doubly when people are murdering your babies. If they tell you those word-kiddies won’t amount to anything, then man, they won’t.

Some people don’t listen. Some get huffy and upset (I think some pros are deliberately harsh, to see if you can take it. Those that can are easier to work with than Captain Precious-Pants). Misplaced self-belief is the main culprit. Last year I sat on a panel at a convention where the topic was the new digital era, and how it was going to revolutionise publishing. The panel’s consensus was that it undoubtedly is, but not in an” overthrow the state and behead the monarchy, vive la revolution!” type way. This did not go down well with the audience, who seemed impatient for the ancien regime of paper to fall. I got an impression of impatience and disenchantment with the traditional gatekeepers – agents, publishers et al. I suspect that was a room full of people who didn’t think “My book might not be good enough”, but “They can’t see my genius, and digital offers me a way around these elitist know-nothings.”

I had a few angry letters on the same theme, back in my full-time journalising days.

It’s not just writing.  I see it especially in dog training too. Both bad dog-training and self-publishing can result in unwanted piles of shit, although I suppose a badly written book isn’t going to bite anyone’s face off.

The maulings you can get from agents and publishers are worth it, because if they care enough to maul you, they see some promise. If they think your stuff is awful, they’ll not bother. If this happens to you, then go away and write something else. (I speak from experience, you know, I’m not casting paper planes of wisdom from an ivory tower here).

Although not made up of pros, the great benefit of a writing group is that you can get feedback quickly. Because, let’s face it, when it comes to unsolicited submissions the publishing engine operates at three settings: dead stop, glacial, and slightly quicker than paint drying.  It can be blood-boiling to hear your mates tell you your story is a bag of bloodied monkey balls, but at least they’ll tell you this week, not when the Age of Aquarius grinds to a close.

A writing group offers a good halfway point too. They’re people you know and trust. They may not be the bloody-toothed publishers you want to deal with eventually, but they’re also not your family. The feedback you get from your mum and dad or baby sister is worth nothing, really. They love you, hey, they told you the cack-handed daubs you made at primary school were great art. You need someone with a little more objectivity, really, don’t you? Eh? Good.

I subsequently sold a few of the stories I wrote for the group. Some of them became parts of other works. I also trialled bits of novels there, so it honestly was all really useful and helpful. So it’s great that we’ve reopened The Quota, (imaginatively titled “The New Quota”! Are we not wordsmiths?).  It’s a secret group for now, although we may open it to the eyes of the public at some point. Anyway, the great thing about now, as opposed to then, is the progression of tech. We used to have The Quota on Facebook, but we’ve got our new group set up on WordPress, like this blog. A blog site gives you a ton of capability, everything’s in one place, there are fewer emails whizzing around, you can stream the content into categories, there’s space for stories and comments… Need I go on? Top stuff.

Give it a try. Set up your own paddling pool of literary endeavour and build up your wordchops, before you throw your paper babies into the ocean and see which can outswim the sharks.

But above all else, when you do make it to the quayside, if those sharks tell you your efforts taste like sheep doo-doo, listen to them, okay?

Danish painting

No, that’s not some sexual euphemism. This is a wargaming post about painting goblins The Army Painter way, so if you don’t give a hoot about tiny toy soldiers, especially silly little goblins, the exit’s over there.

Actually, I have not been painting my goblins The Army Painter way. Let me explain.

I’ve been meaning to get hold of some of The Army Painter’s funky dip for some time. Dip? Army Painter? Okay, if you’re not in the know, here’s a quick Army Painter 101.

Wargaming’s pretty big in Scandinavia, with an emphasis on the gaming side. There are a load of tournaments and events and so forth up there – long winters, y’see – and that means lots of models need painting. It just won’t do to play at an event with unpainted figures, oh no. Now, some of the very best miniatures painters in the world come from Scandinavia, but they also like to get their models done quick. Painting models is a lot of fun for the likes of me, I experience the kind of floaty zen buzz you can only get from total concentration on a task. Unlike playing a computer game or some other geeky pass time (of which, my friends, I have several) producing a finished model gives you something to look at, something you’ve done. It’s a real sense of achievement, I tells ya.

Contrarily, painting an ENTIRE ARMY is a massive pain in the balls. What do you do? You could paint every model the best you can. This is my favoured approach, with some compromise. Big drawback – you never get enough painted models on the table. Alternatively, you can slap a load of paint on them to get them up to “Wargaming Standard”.

I look at the models, the beautiful, beautiful models, and then I look at most people’s “wargaming standard”. What we’re really talking is three-colour, mass-produced Chinese toy standard. It makes me sad for all the little goblins to see that, it really does, with no eyes painted on and quick daubs to show up their lovely sculpting. Poor little goblins.

The Army Painter offers a third way. The idea is that you paint on the basecoat of a model (non-wargamers, a basecoat is a flat block of colour, not highlighted or shaded or anything), then dip it in this magic dip. The dip’s a varnish with a brown pigment in it that simultaneously shades (by dint of the pigment running into the cracks) and protects (by dint of being a varnish).

The idea came from America, where serious hobbyists were using floor polish to do the same thing. A couple of Danish guys I used to work with at GW – Bo Penstoft and Jonas Faering – decided to make something tailored to the task. They also make coloured primer sprays. Most people prime with white or black spray before painting. You have to prime, normal acrylic paint will rub off the model without a primer. Having a primer in the model’s majority colour instead saves more time. This is actually a seriously old-school wargaming technique used by historical gamers, like my dad.

Anyway. I have an all-goblin army. None of those orcs, no sir. The thing is with all-goblin armies is that they are HUGE, really HUGE. Hundreds of models. A horde army, in the hobbyist lingo. I’ve long used a lot of inkwashes, especially brown, to speed up my painting. Inks are pooh-poohed by top-range painters, but to me they’re a good short cut to an army with a reasonable standard. Indeed, I wrote a couple of articles on this for the UK edition of White Dwarf when there was such a thing, and I was its editor.

What I like about it

Smell

I love the smell of it, takes me right back to my earliest hobby days when I used to use yacht varnish to protect my models. I pinched this off my father, who used it to thin down oil paints to paint his own models. Army Painter dip smells exactly like it. Ah! Nostalgia (anyone who reads this blog regularly knows how much I hate nostalgia. But no, this is good nostalgia).

Protection

I like the fact that it covers the model in a tough protective coat. Sure, you need to take the shine of it, because it is super gloss. Army Painter do a proprietory spray, but I use paint-on, Windsor and Newton artist’s matte varnish. A lot of my models are metal, some are even the old lead alloy. I’ll be painting them until I die. Varnish this tough should stop that annoying chipping, especially on all those pointy goblin hats! It also binds the basing material to the base really strongly.

Shading

The shading does actually work. Kind of. I’ll explain what I mean later.

Equalising

It’ll blend rough highlighting or drybrushing nicely, meaning you can be quicker and less neat.

What I don’t like so much

Price

£20 a tin. I was expecting something the size of an emulsion pot, but it is a lot smaller. I can just about live with that though.

Drying time

Like varnish, it takes forever to dry – 24 hours. Pick up a metal model before then and you’re in danger of the paint coming off with the tacky dip. Also, beware of windblown fluff and unexpected falls into modelling detritus.

Dipping

I don’t dip. The guys recommend dipping with pliers and  flicking the excess off for best results, but this makes a shit load of mess and is wasteful. Their other method, painting it on and sucking up pools with a clean brush, is the one I employed. I’m finding it hard to gauge how much to use, but that’s my fault, not the product’s.

Dimming

Strong tone takes the warmth of a colour down, and reduces the brightness of the hue. Like, my goblins’ skin looks more like orc skin. But easily solved, I’ll use brighter paint in future at the initial stage.

Shine

It is super shiny! Get the shine off takes a while, no matter what you use.

How I use it

Amry Painter make three shades – Light Tone (light brown), Strong Tone (Dark Brown) and Dark Tone (Black).I’ve been using the very Danishly-named Strong Tone (we Brits would probably have gone for something less macho, like mid tone, or tea).

I find myself employing the dip as a kind of shortcut, but not a panacea to the ills of painting a million models. For me, the end result of applying it directly over a basecoat isn’t quite good enough. It works really well on flesh, browns, reds  or bone. Check out their website for some seriously cool Skaven, Skeletons and historical models. What it doesn’t look so hot on is goblinoid flesh tones. Not because the dip doesn’t work with green, it does, but because the best goblin-y paint jobs have quite a high contrast between highlights, and the dip doesn’t deliver on this score. Then there are things like metal, which it looks fine on, but which a little extra work will make look more splendid.

What I’ve been doing then is painting my models as normal but as with inks, omitting several stages. Army Painter dip is better than ink too, as it mostly collects in the crevices of the model. Like GW’s newish washes. But a lot cheaper.

I’ve been painting Night Goblin Squig Hoppers, both old Kev Adams jobs and newer-school Brian Nelson ones. The older models took longer, as there is more detail on them. Here’s a breakdown – all the paints I use are Citadel Colour. I glue sand on the base and undercoat first.

Robes: Drybrush grey over black primer

Squig: Mechrite Red with Blood Red/ Bronzed Flesh drybrush

Teeth/ rope belts/ horns: Deneb Stone

Metal: Boltgun Metal

Squig eyes: Iyanden Darksun

Goblin eyes: Blood Red

Goblin skin (a bit more involved, as this is the focal point of the model): Knarloc Green basecoat, 1st highlight Gretchin Green 2nd Highlight Gretchin Green/ Rotting Flesh.

Pouches: Brown (from the scenery painting kit – I love my big bottle of “Brown”)

Sand base: Brown

Wood: Brown/Chaos Black/ Bronzed Flesh mix (to get a kind of grey/green)

I then paint on Strong Tone.

Painting time is not as quick as the Danes intended, but I’m not using it like they say. Result is, it still looks nice, and it’s quicker than it would have been as I’ve saved myself three or four stages all told. So I’m happy.

For less prominent models, like the thirty or so archers I have to paint, I’m going to cut even more out.

///UPDATE///Since I wrote this post a couple of days ago, I have finished more Night Goblin Squig Hoppers with flat Gretchin Green for the skin and a couple of other stages taken out. They look great, and were very fast to paint. ///UPDATE///

If I can sort out my shitty photography, I’ll put up pictures. For now, you’ll just have to take the word of a 30-year wargamer/ ex-White Dwarf Editor that Army Painter dip is damn cool stuff.

Why I love the beast

Argh! I can’t help it. I should hate them, and jump up and down and scream. Have you seen the prices? But by jiminy, those models are just so fine…

I speak of Games Workshop, the Very Big Hobby Company, for whom I once worked as editor of Fictional Albino Shorty magazine, and for whose publishing arm I now write books (this is my disclaimer, so you can add your own bias to the following musing, like that sachet of soy sauce to a pot noodle. I reckon these posts have around the same nutritional content). I’ve been playing GW fantasy and science fiction wargames since I was very, very young. I’ve grown up on its worlds, which led me on to many other things. I’m a devotee, you might say.

Gaming was cheaper then. This was a time when a fantasy skeleton warrior made of toxic lead alloy cost you less than ten pence. Models in those days came in a plastic bag, not dissimilar to those that are often used to house drugs (this is a measured analogy), stapled to a piece of card. I’m sure there are many old bearded males even balder and grumpier than I who feel that “Those were the days”.

Back then, the range of models to be had was quite small, and if you ever did get to put an army together, it weighed so much you needed to buy a donkey or similar pack animal to carry it to a friend’s house. Said friend had to be a very good friend, because you’d be staying there for two weeks, the average duration of a wargame. Now, the games are fast and furious, the models genuine works of art (and light as feathers).

The reason I’m writing this is that this very evening I put together a battlescape for Warhammer 40,000 – for those of you not in the club of sad old dice rollers, never mind. It’s a piece of decoration for a battlefield. This piece, not even a toy soldier, you understand, is so awesome it made me do a little giggle putting it together.

It was also £15.40. That’s cheap in this world, bub.

10p doesn’t buy you much any more, the average model is well over a pound whatever it is made out of – and there aren’t a great many models in GW’s many ranges that deserve the label “average”. There have been an endless series of price hikes that have sent elements of the hobby community hopping mad, not least the last.

This last came in the wake of the company replacing their last metal models (long made of a tough, modelling unfriendly, yet non-toxic, alloy) with a cold-cast plastic resin dubbed by GW’s miniatures brand Citadel as “Finecast”. That this stuff is almost certainly cheaper to buy than metal is neither here nor there, the opportunity arose to put up the prices again, and so they did.

Why do they do this? It drives some of us mental. But let’s look at it objectively. The boom times of The Lord of The Rings movie releases, that brought a lot of money in to GW, are long gone (I saw some unwise choices made there toward the end, but that it was a bubble, and that it was difficult to capitalise because of its transient nature, is undeniable). Their attempt to turn their niche hobby into one that appealed to a mass market was a noble failure. They’ve got to make their money somewhere, and looking in from the outside it looks suspiciously to me like GW is repositioning itself as a business that deals in a niche, high-cost hobby that sells to a small group of customers. Like it used to be, in fact.

Apart from the high cost bit.

Yet £10-20 pounds for a SINGLE character model? Come on! The sad fact is that Warhammer and its sister games are no longer a pocket-money hobby. At today’s prices one could buy a basic regiment every couple of weeks on average pocket money, but to play the game you need a minimum of around five or six things of £20 or so, and that’s not including the paints, scenery, glue and rulebooks.

So why do I continue to shell money out on this ravenous coin beast? And I do, even though my attic is stuffed full of as yet unpainted soldiers. Simple really, the models they make are just so damn cool. The standard of sculpture some of their kits exhibit is breathtaking, and get better every year. Never mind that, say, their ace Blood Dragon Vampire Knights are £61.50 for five (£12.30 each. £12.30 EACH!). They are amazing pieces.

As an aside here, not all their models are that expensive. I am very sure that the price of a particular model has nothing to do with its base production cost, and everything to do with how spectacular it will look in an army, and how powerful it is in the game. Though there is also the less exploitative consideration of price per (manufacturing) unit. Something like the aforementioned regiment is a one or two purchase per undead gamer, unlike for example skeleton warriors for the same army (£15.50 for ten) which would be a multiple purchase. Therefore the cost of the sculpting time, moulding etc is proportionally lower per model for skeletons than vampire knights. I’m not sure we hobbyists always bear this in mind. (Is it 806% lower? Probably not, but still).

I won’t sugar coat it, I had a tough time working at GW, and I found some of the things they did distasteful, a couple downright personally damaging. But then, I suspect I’d find the same in most businesses. I am not cut out for a corporate environment perhaps, or rather, I’m not prepared to embrace my inner bastard in order to flourish in a corporate environment. I’ve seen dark-side Guy, and he’s an A-grade twat. Let’s leave him in his box. But this is not an evil company by a long chalk.

Is GW exploitative toward its customers? Maybe a little. Yeah, I know the ludicrous margin they demand each of their products provide, no, I’m not going to tell you. Are they out to get as much of my money as possible? Almost certainly. But the company doesn’t hold a gun to my head, it gets my cash by making exciting games, models that make me pee myself a bit, and setting them in immersive, complicated worlds. Who cares that these worlds exhibit widespread borrowing from every major SF and fantasy property ever, sometimes very poorly disguised? They were dreamt up by people playing games, and that’s what people do when playing games. The settings have grown well beyond their roots now, and become influential in themselves.

It doesn’t matter. Y’see, if I had £61.50 to spare, I’d probably get me some of those knights, or something similar. The fact is that I don’t have any money at all any more, but if I had, I would. Things are worth what people will pay for them. Hard truth of capitalism, live with it (at least until the end of Western civilisation, which seems scheduled for next Tuesday).

For you angry gamers out there, the crux of the matter is this: Can you really say that someone is abusing you who makes something you want, something you still pay for even while bitching about how much it costs? Not something you need, just would like. Something you can live easily without. To read some forums you’d think the company bosses were pulling a chocolate company stunt on African baby milk, you really would.

The whole thing reminds me of the hobby grumblings back in the 90s that laid the demise of RPGs at GWs feet. This was not really true, the decline of RPGing as a mass passtime is a complex thing. Look what survived though – the very same Amazing Models inc. Why? Mainly because they made really cool stuff, not because they stopped selling Runequest.

There are a lot of miniature producing firms out there now, and some make very good models at much lower prices. But GW’s are still far and away the best. This is why they survived the gaming implosion of the early 90s, and why I still pay up.

Today I went into a Games Workshop and bought some things. Was I horrified by the prices? Hell yeah. Was I excited? Oh indeedy. Am I exploited? Nope.

Damn you Games Workshop, I love your toys. That’s why you’ll always get your hands on my cash, although I reserve the right to weep and swear as I hand it over.