Archive for December, 2010

To the future!

Posted: December 31, 2010 in Uncategorized

Happy New Year, meat persons!

(apologies to any machine intelligences who read this blog).


Happy Birthday, Jesus

Posted: December 14, 2010 in Journalism

Man! It’s nearly Christmas. Christ! And mass… how did that happen so quickly? It’s my 38th. How many more left, I wonder?

Apologies, thoughts of mortality often dog me.

I’ve been working on my old professional ‘alma mater’ SFX for the last six weeks part-time, just like the ghost of Christmas past, only with Scrooge rolled in. I am actually old enough to legitimately say “It wasn’t like this in my day.” Terrifying.

I probably shouldn’t have done the work, I have no time, until this week I’d been working every night as well as during the day. One doesn’t like to turn work down when one is a freelancer, not at all.

I am tired. Puppy. Child. Work. Zzzzzzzzzzzz. But no! No zzzzzzzzzz for me.

It’s amazing how little sleep you can get by on. I feel better for slightly less (not when it’s four hours a night, no, that’s horrible) and not for the first time I find myself irritated with my teenage self, irrespective of the fact that teenagers need more sleep, he wasted so much bloody time. If he hadn’t, then maybe I’d have a bigger frigging house now, because I’d have chosen a better paying job. (Maybe I should let him off. I was technically crazy. Still am. Maybe I’ll write about that one day. I’m lactose intolerant too. I doubt I’ll write about that). Ah! Not only are our lives dictated by those who came before us, but by the us that came before us. The irony.

If I met me at 14 now, I’d kick my arse.

Actually, the rot started when I was eight, and I told my parents I was not going to memorise my times tables because that was homework and we don’t do homework until big school.

What a little wanker.

So I remain barely numerate, only slightly more literate, with a mind as disciplined as ball of hairy wool. It wasn’t all my fault. Thanks can also be given to the goddamned post-50s liberal, handwringing experiment that was comprehensive, streamless education. What I needed was a teacher kicking my arse, not teachers who let me get away with doing a bare minimum because they were too busy dealing with emotionally damaged thickos actually trying to kick their arses. Cheers for that.

What’s all this about? New Years resolutions. I only dally with one or two a year. What they are shifts a little, but always they come down to the same old thing.

“Must try harder.” Just like my school reports.

Now stop whining and get on with it.