That’s how you do it

Posted: July 13, 2011 in Fiction, Random wifflings

A quickie today. Below, embedded thanks to the magic of YouTube, is the trailer for Hard Spell, a novel from Angry Robot (which makes me and author Justin Gustainis colleagues, I s’pose). It’s rather spiffy.

Now, two things here before we proceed onto said spiffiness:

1) I am not an urban fantasy fan, I got sick of it halfway through Buffy. It’s all so samey and cliché, and is at its worst when it turns into a horny rutfest written by some homely mid-American who is so turned off by the wimpy men modern society turns out she can only get her rocks off writing about humping the undead or fourteen freakish strains of were-animal with furry cocks. Supernaturals are the only thing that are still a little bit dangerous, now that all the James Deans are dead. Even so, and this really is the very worst, the need to domesticate bad boys seems so innate to certain women that they’re doing a damn fine job of emasculating vampires. We have vampires that don’t burst into flames in sunlight, but SPARKLE. SPARKLY SOULLESS BLOODSUCKERS. Man, it’s all so wrong.

2) I’m not a big fan of “book trailers” either. They seem to exist solely because we’ve got the giant, hungry mass of the internet, and that demands audio-visual, kids. Feed it! Feed it! The best trailer for something to do with words is words, I would have thought? No? Okay, I admit, it’s not an inherently bad idea, but so many book trailers are overly long, endless screeds of floating text on scrolling, indeterminate backgrounds saying “It WAS A TIME of WAR” in cod-gravelly voice film trail speak with music that invariably comes from either The Lord of the Rings, or The Pirates of the Caribbean. Most are, frankly, waz.

But this one does in both my preconceptions (and boy I’m pustulating with them. And sweeping generalisations). This is the best book trailer I have ever seen. It makes me want to read the book, in a subgenre, as I have mentioned, I somewhat dislike. Job done.*

*Although the curse of auto-text apostrophes strikes again. These are always the wrong way round on words abbreviated from the front. Until whoever is responsible for this irritating software oversight sorts it out, please, please cut and paste, as they make me so mad.**

**Although not as mad as the apostrophe I saw in a genitive third person neuter pronoun the other day, in the school I will be sending my kid to no less! GRARGHHHH! Politeness forbade me from doing aught but slightly scowl, mind.

  1. Matt Keefe says:

    Haley, this reads like one of my emails. I feel almost plagiarised by intent.

  2. Matt Keefe says:

    I would be much more down with this trailer if the apostrophes on [’em] were facing the right way.

  3. Matt Keefe says:

    Must read footnotes first.

    Anyway, it’s genitive, you piss artist.

    • guyhaley says:

      Dammit! I corrected that once already! Sorted now.

      It is rather like you this post, isn’t it? It’s my dark, ranty word fascist side I hide from the world. You know, I did tailor my word doc recently, partly inspired by your mail a few months back about templating, to do as you say, but somehow I’ve turned the spelling functions off, and no matter what I do they won’t come back on. Doh.

      • Matt Keefe says:

        I will soon be launching my editor approved free for download spotless flawless bloody perfect Word templates, so don’t you worry your little head, Haleykins.

        (There’s various stuff worth fiddling with in the options screen, under ‘Proofing’.)

  4. Matt Keefe says:

    You can add [’em] and such like (with the apostrophe correctly orientated) to the autocorrect options in Word. I haven’t yet figured out a way of doing it for all such instances, but adding the common instances such as ’em and ’cause will save you some effort.

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