Archive for January, 2016

Only it didn’t happen on a Sunday.

On Tuesday Mengel Miniatures sent me a picture of their gorgeously painted Retributor, sparking a second flurry of Stormcast Eternal model pictures. So here’s some more, and there’s good ideas for colour schemes in this lot. They all came from Twitter, so handles rather than real names are presented. Follow them, some of these guys are prolific hobbyists.

The one that started the second Sigmarite advance, from @MengelMinis

The one that started the second Sigmarite advance, from @MengelMinis.




A book review from my archives. It appeared originally in SFX #245. Note that when I read this back in 2014, the film was yet to be made. When it was, it did not star Tom hanks. I enjoyed the book, with reservations. A good friend found it tedious, putting it aside half-read with the immortal words “Fuck you, Mr Watney, and your space potatoes.”


Author: Andy Weir

Publisher: Del Rey


Robinson Crusoe on Mars redux

Not often does SFX give the top slot to a novel by a first timer, but The Martian comes highly recommended. Originally self-published in 2012, The Martian garnered thousands of great reviews and praise from none other than Stephen Baxter. Does this story of an astronaut stranded on Mars live up to the hype? Mostly yes, but there’s a tiny bit of no in there.

Mark Watney is an astronaut on NASA’s third excursion to the Red Planet. Ares 3 is only a few days into its mission when a sandstorm hits. The ascent vehicle is threatened by Mars’ killer winds, so NASA orders its astronauts to mount up and head home. Watney is hit by debris and knocked flying. He’s lost, presumed dead, and the team’s commander makes the tough call to launch.

Watney is wounded, but alive. Waking up after his comrades have gone, equipped with a limited amount of resources, he has to figure out a way to survive.

The amount of research here is astounding. We’re suckers for well-grounded fiction, and on the technical side The Martian is exemplary. Weir has a good knowledge of several fields of science (much like his astronaut heroes), and besides a plausible manned Mars mission plan, we get some cracking lessons in botany, astrophysics, chemistry and mechanical engineering. Watney, an engineer/botanist, details his various survival schemes in his log. These witty first-person segments are the better part of the novel. When we shift to third-person passages detailing NASA’s attempts to rescue him, it’s jarring change of gear at first, and they are less engaging throughout.

Engagement is one of the book’s two weaknesses. There’s little emotional heft. Watney’s an astronaut, and a certain devil-may-care attitude to his own death is to be expected (warning: astronauts are awesome. Reading about astronauts can lead to feelings of inadequacy). But the sections on Earth, which could have injected genuine feeling, follow a similar joke-heavy trajectory. The Martian is funny, especially Watney, but backchat, considered swearing and fist-pumping take the place of poignancy. This kind of Whedon-esque interaction is the norm in idealised geek culture, but not absolutely everybody (even at NASA) behaves this way. A difficult balance to strike, we admit, for The Martian could easily have gone the other way and slipped into the mawkishness of 1998 film Armageddon. Even so, at times the novel seems like a jolly set of Dungeons & Dragons puzzles rather than a deadly situation faced by real people. This is an outward looking book. All Watney’s problems are ones that can be solved by the application of ingenuity. He doesn’t get lonely, or freak out, or miss pancakes. His inner life is skated over, albeit adroitly.

The other weakness is one partly brought on by the nature of the narrative. The Martian has been compared to Apollo 13 (real life disaster and hit Tom Hanks movie!). Fair enough, but there’s a subtle difference – on Apollo 13 one thing went wrong that led to a lot of other things going wrong. In The Martian, everything goes wrong. For the sake of story it has to, but Watney’s chain of disasters stretch credulity even as they have you turning the page. This is not a Martian Castaway (hit Tom Hanks movie!) story about the psychology of isolation, but perhaps with a bit of such affect the unlikelihood of Watney’s serial misfortunes would be less noticeable.

The Martian’s film rights have been sold, and it strikes us that, with the right director, this might be a tale that makes for a better film (perhaps a hit, with Tom Hanks). Impressive, but definitely one for the head, not the heart.


Champion of Mars still 99p/$1.50


Fyreslayer surprise

Posted: January 28, 2016 in Fiction, Gaming, The Black Library

A couple of weeks ago the Age of Sigmar book Fyreslayers came out, including a lengthy short story of mine by the name of “The Volturung Road”. There’s a brilliant surprise I got not long after submitting the finished work that I’m going to share.

mad un

Games Workshop artist Kevin Chin enjoyed the story so much he drew this sketch of the crazed Grimwrath Bezerker Brokkengird. Cool eh? And proof if any is needed that the guys who make Warhammer up are just as mad on it as you are.

What’s what

Posted: January 27, 2016 in Random wifflings
Tags: , ,

Woo. That was a tough six weeks. As happens several times a year, my blogging was interrupted by work and life. I’ve just finished the longest book I’ve ever written. 170,000 words written over four and a half months, plus other stuff on the side (to forestall questions: I can’t tell you what it is. It’s not Horus Heresy. It’s not 40k. It’s not Warhammer in any shape or form. Enough already!). There’s not been much time for anything but writing and hoovering and all that tedious domestic stuff.

We had a good Christmas. Afterwards I intended to take some proper, sitting on my arse not talking to anyone time off… And then my home town experienced the worst flood it ever has. We live right next to the river, but we’re high up and bought our house knowing that it has not flooded just here in living memory. Naturally, the water was lapping at the boundary wall on Boxing Day. I took fright, and spent all day moving the contents of my office upstairs, then all the next moving it back. Fortunately, we did not flood. Later that week I spent a couple of days doing voluntary work helping people whose circumstances necessitated a bit more than moving hundreds of books and a million goblins from one room to another. So, no relaxing time off. As a couple of days of writing were swallowed too, (and I was running late, to be honest) work fell behind, requiring much hard pedalling on the write-o-matic to catch up. To those brave souls who come here to read this drivel, I apologise I’ve not been drooling as much as usual. There’s only so much Guy to go around.

Anyway, although I’ve still got a work slate so loaded I can’t even begin to think of a humorous metaphor, I’m coming back to blogging. Expect soon:

  1. More book reviews.
  2. Recent hobby activities and plans for the year.
  3. Why I’m really enjoying Age of Sigmar.
  4. My opinion on Star Wars episode VII.
  5. An account of the flood.

I reserve the right to be lazy and sack any/all of that off or not write it until 2018, but it’s what’s in the plan.

If you think I should try harder, then consider this: I wrote 435,000 words of fiction last calendar year. This does not include blogs, reviews, articles and other material. My fingers hurt.


Champion of Mars 99p/$1.50